Hey pretty blue-grey eyes,
This is for you.
Hey pretty blue-grey eyes, remember that girl you used to see in the mirror? Yeah, that’s her. Shaggy blond hair. Soft pale, teenage spotted skin. Still is, even in your 20’s. You hate perfection anyway.
Remember how you’d stare her in the eyes, then glance away hurt by your own reflection? Then you’d look back. Tut. Then try and love her again.
Hey pretty blue-grey eyes, you’re not that girl anymore.
I used to wander how long it would take, how long it would take for what happened not to define you. Not to consume you whole.
If you still date things like you used to take note of you’d say last Tuesday was a bit of a milestone. A week tomorrow will be (for now) you, having taken your last medication pill.
I’m writing to you because you may feel like it’s going unacknowledged. You say you don’t care but they’ll be occasions that you do. I know. I know how important that is to you.
You may have had a blip last night to tease you. An honest glimpse of the raw reality of what relapse could mean, but you still carried on.
You wanted to do this in private didn’t you? Only tell a few people, be proud.
Pride isn’t everything.
I’m writing to you to remind you, you can let you guard down. You can let people in. You can let them support you. Practise what you preach blue-grey eyes, you don’t have to be there for everyone else pretending you no longer ‘need’ and seeing that as strength.
You’re so loved. So loved. People are proud, so proud.
Hey pretty blue-grey eyes. It’s a big thing you’re doing. Your decision. And i’m proud of you. If it doesn’t go to plan – hey, what does?! – how boring would life be! – it’s going to be okay. I promise you.
Happy World Mental Health Day to the girl you were 12 years ago, to the woman you are today.