Frazzled by the title itself? I’ll shed a little light.
As someone in the know, I’m aware that Depression and Anxiety (D&A/A&D – I think I just need a glossary in my ‘About’ section so I don’t have to continually do that…) come in many different forms.
Admittedly, nicking the word from Ruby Wax -‘Frazzled’-(who’s book is currently in a pile of books I’ve bought and need to motivate myself to read them… but D isn’t having any of it) explains it rather well. My own definition would be someone who is under/in a frazzle … of many bits and pieces that affect their ability to see clearly, do, or even ‘be’ as they usually would. A ‘functioning frazzled’ – well, I chose that really for a bit of alliteration. (Who doesn’t like alliteration? ) but what I’m going to blog about here is the more familiar term (you may have heard of) which is the ‘functioning depressive’. I’m not a big fan of all these words and terms. I mean, the word ‘depressive’ alone is so depressing and I’m a happy person…confused yet?
I fit here well. One of the downsides of being a ‘functioning depressive’ (but is probably yet controversially and seemingly lucky – compared to the lesser functioning) is that people can’t tell. As you’re able to function. (Mostly for me, sometimes bed days never end). I’m smily on the outside, in the middle of introvert and extrovert depending on who I’m with, able to work (although when I’m struggling it’s blooming hard, good job I’m working in the field, hey), and have a lovely ‘fully functioning!!’ social life. This means that people don’t quite get it when they hear it. It baffles them. I think the worst and most ignorant thing someone ever said to me, sadly coming from someone close was, “but I just don’t get it. What have you got to be sad about? You got a 1st class degree, a boyfriend who loves you, a job you love…it doesn’t make sense.” Yes. Cheers for that. Really helpful information, that. I didn’t know any of those things!! (I hope sarcasm comes across easily enough so I don’t have to write ‘sarcasm’ each time…). You hear it a lot. People with mental health problems get this from many. It’s such old thinking though. Come on, get with the times. Probably heard this before but do you really think we choose to be this way? No, didn’t think so.
There are many different arguments and research studies showing nature over nurture or vice versa. As an individual, you have a choice to decide which you wish to believe. I can safely speak for a number of people in the same boat, functioning or not so much, in that it can be either or. Or both. I have a strong family history of mental health problems (and I’m not afraid to say it. I shouldn’t be ashamed) but I’ve equally had life events that have impacted badly on my mental health. For ages I wanted an answer. Is it my genetics? Will I always be wired this way (hormonally imbalanced etc etc…) or is it what happened…nurture – that’s left a scar. Like the bread, I’m guessing, Hovis best of both.
So basically, it would be good if you just simply believed that there really are people out there living their silent stigmatised struggles that might need your help. We wouldn’t make it up. It’s not attention seeking. Lives are lost to it, and we want to get/be better.
Medication or no medication, formal diagnosis or not. Just like many other a campaign #startbybelieving.
Abs X 💙