Following on from yesterday’s plan to reset, I must update – it really works and I’d recommend to give it a go (if you can see it would be helpful!).
I must admit, although having struggled in the morning with a depressive shadow looming over and intimidating me…I still won 😁😀 (see ‘Anxiety and Depression *A & D* may win the battle but I’ll always win the war’ blog post). 💪🏻
Single tasking and mindful living really does work. Short term and I’m sure long term but as I mentioned, it’s a commitment and a lifestyle change if it’s new to you, which takes time to adjust.
I had meaningful work meetings and conversations with my wonderful volunteers, colleagues and partners and I was fully consumed in what I was doing. I was productive. But I also had my little angels with me on standby knowing I was a bit fragile from the night before and in the morning. I contacted them only in my break instead of frantically giving in to my thoughts and messages interrupting my focus, and it worked.
The eve was so lovely. Spent with my super boyf who’s working very hard ATM and 2 days a week after work goes to late study classes for his exam next week. He’s doing so well but we had a much needed evening of just unwinding together. Not ‘lying in bed with the TV on whilst scrolling on Facebook and saying the occasional thing to each other’. Just me, him and good old fashioned banter! Perfect.
I responded to heart warming feedback about our vlog and blog as and when instead of letting that take over too. And went over it in therapy- which as I’ve stated previously, is with the most awesome woman I was lucky to have been placed with. She’s sooo insightful, intelligent and clearly knows her stuff. She knows the pros and cons on many types of therapy and uses the right kinda takes it takes to work with me compatibly. Most of all she reallllllly gets why grief by suicide (especially in childhood) is a fooking nightmare to deal with and how important it is to help me through). It really helps, but as with anything me and ‘A & D’ … I need to commit to it to help it work. I kept cancelling around work because it was ‘busy’ or worrying about money…(can you really put a price on health, though?) but I’ve made a decision. Commitment all the way 💪🏻. It’s not just financial or time commitment- it’s mental commitment. It’s tiring! It’s hard work. Mental work. But I know, and through this blog and vlog, that it helps.
I’ve had questions from friends and comments that make me think and make sense of my own journey. I’ve joined forums, done research in my campaign to fight the stigma. I know it helps. So I don’t worry too much about the exhaustion, if it can help me along my journey -I’ll pay the price to get there. Where I want to get you may ask? I don’t know, I guess that’s half the fun (sarcastic/not sarcastic 😳😑).
Off to work now which will if all goes well be throughly rewarding as I am doing an interview with one of my blooming amazing vols all about her journey with us and how far she’s come. It’s so important for her to reflect and me to, and our organisation, and project- and evaluation.
It doesn’t matter what field you’re in, as long as you can see your value and progress…it can make it all worthwhile.
Have a great day on a recharged battery 😉
Love Abz X 💚