Helloooo small following 🙂
Today is day 2 of feeling, ‘content’ 😀👏🏻 yay! And for this, I express gratitude. One of my favourrrrrite things that helps me when I can see clearly *sings 🎤 I can see clearrlllly now the rain has gonnnne* la la la…
I love a good sing song I do. I RARELY know the words with my partial deafness (yes, not just a mental illness I was blessed with 👂🏻 😳👂🏻- bilateral loss in both ears 👍🏻) it does make me come out with some pretty hilarious versions of songs and conversations though 👍🏻🙈 great for my friends and partly the reason I’m such a comic *dusts off shoulders* 😎
“Gratitude” in case you’re wandering is probably the latest buzz word next to “mindfulness”. The thing every cool person talks about as if they’re, ‘Zen’. Peace out dude ✌🏻️ although if we’re thinking about ‘Shoreditch cool’ I would say I stray far far from this category, but I am on the good ol’ gratitude band wagon for the right reasons.
It may seem simple and something that makes some think, ‘OK cool. Very nice and all but, what’s the fuss?’. I’ll tell you what- gratitude is not just a feeling, it’s a concept; a way of expressing emotion and actually- get any more hippy than this? -a bit of a ‘movement.’ Gratitude is something some people (even my therapist) was surprised I feel towards certain things such as basic needs.
For example, I’m huuuumungously grateful for my family. Despite the core care giver deciding on an early exit, a father with his own problems and one of my 2 brothers a little distant (both physically and mentally) than I’d rather him, I love and am thankful for them- immensely. I feel blessed. Not just them but my grandmas, my aunts, my friends who I consider family. (Friends are the family you chose for yourselves – like that cheesy saying goes). Some people don’t have that. I’m grateful for the ability to really feeeel that love and experience it in a way that makes me able to write about it. I may joke about how soppy I am but as yesterday’s blog states -I find it’s actually quite a blessing and luxury to be so emotionally in tune (the one thing I can do in tune, ‘think’🙈) and I do actually love that about myself. It means when I love ❤️ I love freely and rawly and would do pretty much anything and everything for those people and I’m not just saying that. So although when I hurt, I hurt so bad it’s sometimes debilitating and I’m sore internally and externally but I can feel. Some people may go through life having a mediocre experience. Probably questioning it’s purpose. That’s one thing I don’t question. And why I take my sunflower everywhere with me because although not on earth she’s still alive and can experience these things with me. ❤️ when I’m happy I’m super happy. Bit scarily high sometimes? Sure. But it’s real. It’s raw. And people get to see authentic ‘happy at its happiest, me’. I revert to child ego state, giggle and have little care in the world. It’s glorious ….<-what a word!!
I know it may sound silly but sometimes I’m even grateful I have 2 legs (touch wood, major health anxiety kicking in!😳) and that I can walk. I can exercise. I can climb mountains (if I wanted to, which I do…🤔), I can run, hop and skip…I can travel, I have access to food glorious food…etc etc. From the small to the big. Gratitude is pretty beautiful.
*Pause from blog – omg I’m even grateful for the magical experience happening right this second – the girl behind me -(I’m on the train) who when I turned around, I realised she was reading this as I was typing away… with a big smile on her face 🙈- luckily she just got off…at least I made her smile though, maybe she left happy and was grateful herself!*
Being grateful and giving thanks is so important to me and I actually pray (read first ever blog about non -religious prayer but how I believe in something spiritual/universal whether it’s a God or who knows) to say ‘thank you’… most evenings!
It really is a lovely feeling. Right now I’m most grateful for my contentedness for 2 days straight. The knowledge I’m seeing some dear friends and family by the seaside over the weekend. That I had a productive day at work, and for how much I love and adore my other half (what a soppy sausage I am hey👍🏻) all true though. It’s great for mental health too…
However, supporters – tread carefully… if we are relapsing and you want to remind your loved ones how much “gratitude” helps them…I can’t speak for everyone, but there’s nothing like hearing …”yes but think about all the children suffering in the war at least you have…” Ofcourrrrse we know this. But it’s not the point at the time and theres ways of saying things. Yes our perspectives and visions can be blurred and we may need a little windscreen wiping like a dirty car but, only the best products will do. In case that line ran away with me and doesn’t make sense it means, ‘think before you try and help’ (see power of words blog!).
I’ll leave you on the note of a really sweet thing my other half does with me sometimes when I’m well and when I’m not so well also…It’s usually before bed, and he asks – “right – what 3 things are you are thankful for today?”. And it’s so cute! So lovely, and I always do it and he does it with me.
There – the soppy secret is out. Maybe try with your partner/fam/friends later, it’s really nice ☺️
Love and gratitude always,
Abz X 💙